Hello & welcome to a celebration of the finest pan--European annual musical jamboree known to man, the Eurovision Song Contest. 2009 saw us finally in the warm, yet potentially fatal, embrace of the Great Russian bear. In the most one-sided contest since Stephen Fry took part in the annual "Dyslexic Wordsearcher of the Year" competition, Norway's Alexander Rybak surprised no-one by winning, albeit with a momentous 387 points total. Moscow put more LED screens on the stage than is in Rupert Murdoch's office, as well as a few floating polythene swimming pools.
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